Ok, so I have a love handle on it really, but its close enough.




People are very focused on weight lately; especially with the ringing in of the New Year. Sure it was ok to drink pop and eat McDonalds, but as soon as it was 2012 apparently that behavior became taboo and just not heard of. People make dieting and eating better a resolution for this year. But who are we kidding? Its not much of a resolution if its been your same goal for the past 5+ years.

Its not a rare thing to hear the phrase, "I earned my chubby" or "I make chubby look good" come out of my mouth as I eat my second doughnut or down my 4th coke in a row. Truth is, I love food and I don't really want to hold back... oh, and I've also had 2 kids in 2 years and that does a lot of damage to one's girlie figure.

Also, cause of course there has to be more excuses for my weight problems, I am big boned. If you ask my family they will just state that I am fat and leave it at that, but I have been medically tested by a doctor in a certified clinic and can claim the title "big boned" So there! What this means is that my bones are thicker than the average persons. It also means I will never be a size 2... or 6... or 10...

Case in point:

This is me before kids when I was in much better shape:

At best, I was 178 lbs, size 16 pants. And in all honesty, I was freakin hot. I mean come on. How cute am I?!

Now, This is me after 2 kids:

This picture was taken a month ago. I weigh in at 257lbs and am a size 22 pants. Yeah, just a tad weightier than before.

I've tried laying blame on my husband. I mean come on, the man tells me all the time how attractive and beautiful I am and it takes a lot of tacos to keep the curvacious figure I am currently sporting.

The truth of the matter is, I don't like dieting and not being able to eat what I want and I won't go to the gym unless I have someone to go with me. Really, I just need to lose 2 dress sizes and I will be back to a healthier weight for someone like me. It is hard to lose weight in this day and age, but it is even harder to feel good about yourself when you are a big gal.

So I am not making a resolution to lose weight and to fit into the skinny jeans because I don't believe in lying to myself and everyone. Instead, I will try to be more active, have 2 cokes instead of 4, and maybe in 3-4 years I can be that lovely size 16 again... provided I can hold off on the baby having for awhile.

Apparently the holidays bring out the exes. Let's start with my husband's ex.

JT went to take R to his mom's Christmas eve. We fondly call her CRAZY. Anyway, he gets there and Crazy decided to tell JT that she has been thinking about all the x-mas' they used to share and how she misses that and then tells him that they could get back together and have that again... for R's sake. JT said he had to leave and promptly came home and told me all of this. Then Christmas afternoon, JT goes to pick R up from Crazy and she wants to play happy family, etc. So JT is gone for way over an hour... she lives 3 minutes away. Hmmm... Today, we have R and she was supposed to have him all day. Then she told us she'd get him at 2pm. At 1:45pm, JT called to make sure she still wanted R. She said "What are you trying to get rid of him?" JT tried to explain to her that she said she wanted R at 2. Well, that turned into a fight about how JT is a jerk and he is always trying to make her do things and so on. Then she said she was going bike riding and will text him later when she wanted him. 3 hours later she texts JT and when he goes to drop R off that turns into a HUGE fight. She also manages to insult our sitter who is a friend of mine and R's class home room mom (which I don't think she realized). I am still debating whether or not I should tell my friend or let it be. So yeah, Crazy lives up to her name.

My ex husband DK called awhile ago letting me know what days he is going to be here. Then he states that he wants my daughter J for 2 days, then I get her a day, and then he gets her 2 days. I don't like it, but I agreed. He was HORRIBLE TO J when we were there and yeah, he is trying, but he sees her for 1 week every 3 months and she is NOT his biggest fan. So we compromised and we'll web chat during the visit so I can see my baby gal. Since then, he has been a bit of a prat and even got mad when J wouldn't chat with him on web cam or talk to him on x-mas. She's 2 for F's sake. What does he expect?

I swear, I am fervently getting sick of exes. I don't know what to do. Any thoughts?

My husband (we'll call him JT) and his ex-wife (we'll call her Crazy) have a weird relationship. They were married for 4 years and it was a horrible relationship. She cheated on him several times, made him feel absolutely horrible about himself, basically left him to raise their son b/c she preferred going out instead, it was bad. He had wanted to divorce her, but didn't until she finally called it quits. (HIS WORDS).

Then, a little over a year later, we began dating. Since then, she has stolen things from out of our house (until I had the locks changed), continually tried to find reasons not to spend time with her son, tried to sell our house (which her name is not on), continually asks us for money, won't pay ANY of her son's medical bills, schooling, etc. (which we ended up having to go to court over), and told JT- ON OUR WEDDING DAY- that if he wouldn't have changed and screwed things up that they would be back together and it would be them renewing their vows... and sadly, these are only a few examples in a vast majority spanning over a year and a half.

But here is where I am perplexed by the situation. After all of the horrible things she has said about me and my children to her son's school, various people, her work etc, after her taking things from our house, even after the 8 million times she has pissed JT off and he has gone on and on about how much he hates her, she whistles and he comes running. He runs errands for her, he does stuff for her, he even has left family functions b/c of her needing or wanting something; and all the while, he is professing how much he loves me and how much happier he is with me.  However, I am lucky if I can get him to do the dishes without me asking him to.

I mean, come on, the other day her and her mother got into a huge fight and she immediately called him. They chatted for a long while- while I was trying to cook and ended up having to abandon that to watch 3 rowdy kids- and at least had the decency to not go over there when she asked him to.

I don't know what to do! In a sick, twisted sort of way, I know they are still in a weird kind of relationship. But that's just it. She is so incredibly mean to him and is just a horrid person (and no, that's not jealousy, that's exhaustion and confusion about the situation talking). I have tried giving him an ultimatum, I have tried talking to her and getting her to back off. I have even sunk so low as to speak with his family about this and their best advice is just to "bite your tongue and deal. Eventually, she won't be in your life anymore." Yeah, when their son turns 18. That's 12 years from now...

She texts him, at least 10-20 times a day and calls 3-4 times (I know b/c JT shows me). She's always wanting him to come over there. Any time something happens in her life she runs to JT first. She even goes on and on about who she is sleeping with or dating now. And the thing that irks me most is, he lets her. He doesn't tell her to back off, or say I don't care, nothing.

Their relationship is weird. Its unhealthy. Its bad on their son. Its bad on our other 2 children who live in this house. Look at it from their point of view. They are going to grow up with the realization that daddy will leave at any time b/c his ex-wife tells him to b/c (in his words) "its easier than fighting with her."

So what should I do? I really need some GOOD advice. I need a wide range of help on this matter and am seeking some good criticism. Please. I am running out of ideas.